The real beauty

"I am ready to believe that the sensations I derived from natural fornication were much the same as those known to normal big males consorting with their normal big mates in that routine rhythm which shakes the world. The trouble was that those gentlemen had not, and I had, caught glimpses of an
incomparably more poignant bliss. The dimmest of my pollutive dreams was a thousand times more dazzling than all the adultery the most virile writer of genius or the most talented impotent might imagine. My world was split. I was aware of not one but two sexes, neither of which was mine; both would be termed female by the anatomist. But to me, through the prism of my senses, "they were as different as mist and mast." (Page 18)

Through most of my post, I have honed in on the idea of the psychoanalyst character who seems to constantly be in the novel. At some points, though, it seems as if Humbert is trying to psychoanalyze himself. Today in class we talk about the idea of hating something so much you really explore the idea. This may be an explanation to Nabokov's obsession of hating Freud, but I think there is more to it. I think by making fun of the psychodynamic therapy, Nabokov is making fun of the reader and making the character in a way that he thinks people will want to read. This novel is starting to feel like a detective novel, but a satirical one. The reader has to believe everything Humbert says to be true, but how do we know what he is saying to be true. Nabokov makes fun of a lot of things in the novel, like Poe's poem and Freud, so how do we know he is even telling us the truth about Humbert? However, I do think it's interesting how at some points Humbert turns into his own therapist and he starts to justify his actions to the jury. In the passage above, it seems to be a good example of this. 

"I am ready to believe that the sensations I derived from natural fornication were much the same as those known to normal big males consorting with their normal big mates in that routine rhythm which shakes the world." He starts out by saying the sex he has with nymphets is the same as two grown adults having sex together. "Routine rhythm which shakes the world" is a slight jab at the fact that people are over sexualized, even though he sexualizes Lolita. In some respects, he is also saying that all sex is the same, which seems to be an over justification. No sex is bad sex just seems like an excuse to have whatever type of sex you want to have, which makes him seem like his own therapist. He's had "normal" sex and it hasn't worked, but the sex he has with nymphets does work; it's essentially the same thing, right?

"The dimmest of my pollutive dreams was a thousand times more dazzling than all the adultery the most virile writer of genius or the most talented impotent might imagine" At times, Humbert has an inflated sense of self. He thinks that the way he does things and knows things is the right and best way. He now says that he knows the most fantastic way to have sex, and without having it the way he does, it is unimaginable. It's an odd way to think about sex and completely goes again his justification for wanting to have sex with nymphets. He says that "normal sex" is wrong because they don't know the real beauty of it, but others, the ones he is trying to convince, say his sex is wrong.   

"My world was split. I was aware of not one but two sexes, neither of which was mine; both would be termed female by the anatomist. But to me, through the prism of my senses, "they were as different as mist and mast." This sentence really pushes his justification. He says that he sees two different types of women: the old and the young, and he only wants the young. He's tried to the old, he keeps letting the reader know that, but he isn't satisfied with the experience. The are anatomically the same, but the way one makes him feel, which seems to be powerful, is the only one he wants. He needs the innocent to need him. When they need him he feels power, which is part of his sexual craving. Even though he is told it's socially wrong, he feels like it's what is right for him. He knows the real beauty.